


Eating At My Insides

by motherofboys2004



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Consensual Underage Sex, Drug Addiction, Eating Disorders, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-11 04:40:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4421726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/motherofboys2004/pseuds/motherofboys2004
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Debbie gains employment at the gym and falls in love. The gym brings about a obsession to have the perfect body that spirals out of control.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Eating At My Insides  
Chapter One  
Squirrel Fund  
Even though Debbie was a straight A student, she could not make herself concentrate at the beginning of her freshman year. She knew that the squirrel fund, the money her family squirrelled away for the winter, was a lot smaller than it usually was. With her sister Fiona getting arrested and her brother Ian AWOL for a good chunk of the time, people had not been making their usual contributions.  
She was sitting in Advanced Geometry trying to convince herself that her brother Lip would come up with some kind of last minute scam and save the day. He had done it before and he may manage it again. She was only half mindedly working on the angles and intersecting lines and she was making more mistakes than usual.   
Fuck it, she finally straightened up from her slouched over position at her desk. She was fourteen now and too old to be depending on her older siblings (who had not been super dependent lately) to bail her family out of trouble. She had been handling the home front fine, taking care of her little brother Liam while Fiona fucked off to her husband or various boyfriends houses. It was time that she took care of some of the finances on her own too.  
Just making the decision to take charge made her feel less scared and more in control. She would pick Liam up at Head Start, drop him off at Sheila’s and start filling out job applications.   
Liam ran into Debbie’s arms as soon as she arrived at the classroom doorway to Head Start. His teacher Lisa greeted her warmly.  
“Another great day today. He spent some time with the speech teacher. We are still trying to encourage him to talk more.”  
Debbie knew that Liam’s teachers were concerned about his quiet, placid nature. She was too sometimes, though a selfish part of her was ashamed enough to be relieved. Her chaotic family didn’t have the energy to deal with a loud, hyper kid, like so many of Liam’s boy classmates seemed to be. They were barely hanging on to taking care of him as it was.   
“Thanks” Debbie smiled and accepted a handful of scribbled art projects from the teacher, which she always took home to display on the refrigerator. “I’ll try to encourage him at home too.”  
However, she wasn’t going home just yet. “I’m going to take you to Sheila’s.” Liam nodded agreeably and started skipping ahead of her. He knew he could go ahead of her, but had to stop and wait for her when there were streets to be crossed. Sheila was her sort-of step mom who married her useless alcoholic father for her own reasons. She was useful in that she had kept Frank out of their house lately, and she always agreed to watch Liam. Sheila didn’t work and barely left the house, so babysitting was a welcome distraction for her. She was a bit batty but Debbie trusted her with Liam. She was hoping that Sheila would agree to babysit Liam for free if she got an after school job. Paying anyone for a sitter would suck up her income before she even got a check.  
As predicted, Sheila was thrilled when she showed up with Liam at the doorstep. Debbie listened to five minutes of chatter concerning the three kinds of cookies she was going to make with Liam before she finally got a word in edgewise.  
“Look Sheila, winter is coming and I wanted to look for a job after school. If I get one, would you mind watching Liam after school? If you’re not doing anything….” Sheila was never really doing anything that she knew of.  
“Of course, sweetie. I’ll keep Frank away from him too, and make him dinner whenever you are working, you won’t have to worry about a thing. Maybe Liam will like Venezuelan food…..”  
“He’s used to pretty simple meals,” Debbie interrupted kindly. “But thank you so much. I couldn’t do this without you. I’m going to fill out applications, I’ll pick him up later. By Sheila.”  
“Liam say bye!” Debbie remembered at the last minute to make Liam talk as his teachers requested.  
“Bye!” Liam called over his shoulder. He was already headed toward Sheila’s kitchen.  
Debbie crossed out of the residential part of the area and hit the pavement. She put in applications at fast food joints, unsure if they would hire a fourteen year old. She stopped at some sit down diners: she was pretty sure they hired dishwashers at fourteen. She kept walking, now heading into an unfamiliar part of the neighborhood. She had never had a reason to wander down this street before. She spotted a sign that said “Reflex Athletics.” Maybe they needed someone to clean up the gym, Debbie reasoned, and headed inside.   
She felt more than a little intimidated at the people working out throughout the gym, with rippling muscles and not an ounce of body fat. Her eyes quickly settled on a boy her age who was brunette, toned and gorgeous. She was practically drooling, and at the same time telling herself that he would never notice a bookworm like her. He appeared to be wrestling with another boy and had him in some kind of hold. He was obviously better and obviously winning. Damn, Debbie needed to stop staring. She stood at the counter and waited for someone to notice her. She read an ad about a teen wrestling club as she waited.   
“Hello” a chipper women with a nametag that said Julie jogged over to greet Debbie. “How can I help you?” She looked so pretty and self-confident that Debbie felt shy. She looked down at the counter and mumbled something about a job application. “Actually, I do need someone” Julie smiled. I need someone to mop the floors and clean the bathrooms in the evenings.” She slipped an application onto a clipboard to Debbie.  
After filling everything out, Julie thrilled Debbie by asking her if she could start right the next day. Debbie nodded. “The only thing left is an emergency form,” Julie rummaged around for another piece of paper. “Just put your parents name here...”  
“I don’t have any.” Debbie flushed thinking of Frank, and her voice was harsher than she meant it to be. “I’m sorry,” Julie said softy. “Do you, umm, have a guardian?”  
Debbie nodded. “Fiona Gallagher.” Debbie wrote her name on the emergency card. Under relationship she wrote “sister” and handed it back to Julie.  
Julie read what she had written and smiled. Debbie was starting to get annoyed, she hated pity. Before she could come up with a sharp response, Julie spoke up again.  
“Hey,” she chirped her upbeat demeanor back already. “There is a free membership to the wrestling club and free work outs for employees. Are you interested?”  
Debbie was pretty sure that this employee discount had just been invented for her own benefit and was about to refuse, when Julie pointed over to Mr. Tall, dark and handsome that Debbie had been drooling over. “That’s Derek and he is head of the wrestling club. He’s a great coach….”  
Debbie nodded, suddenly having a change of heart. “You know it wouldn’t hurt to get more exercise. She looked straight ahead at Julie, determined not to let her see how much she couldn’t stop staring. “Count me in.”


	2. Counting Calories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debbie makes the decision to lose weight

Chapter Two  
Counting Calories  
Debbie was grateful that school had always come pretty easy to her. She didn’t really have time to study anymore, but if she managed to pay attention in class, she could still get an A or a B on her tests, and she did homework quickly before school and during her lunch hour. After school, she worked most days at the gym. She dropped Liam off at Sheila’s, cleaned the bathrooms at the gym, and then used the workout equipment for free. After it closed she would sweep and mop the floors. Fiona or Ian remembered to pick Liam up from Sheila’s-usually anyway, so she didn’t have to worry about him being there until nine or ten o’clock.  
The first few nights she would be famished, and show up at Shelia’s because she knew she would be offered some three course meal-cooking overly complicated meals was the up side of Sheila’s obsessive compulsive disorder. She would be so hungry from going straight from school to the gym, working and exercising, that she would eat until she was ready to burst. After a few weeks though, she stopped doing that. She spent so much time at the gym watching the other women exercise with their toned lean bodies, that she was sure that she was fat and shapeless in comparison. She was sure that Derek would never notice her with all of the competition around her. The women and girls at the gym were graceful, thin, and athletic. She was sure that she was pathetic by comparison. She was no good at sports, only things like school, especially math….  
Her thoughts wandering to math gave her an idea. She really just needed to put this problem in perspective and use her strengths to deal with it. She may not be good at athletics, but she was a math whiz, and counting her calories would not be a problem. She could also calculate the calories that she was burning with her various workouts, and she should start losing weight in no time.  
One day when she picked up Liam and as he was skipping ahead of her as usual, she called him back. He knew the way to Sheila’s by heart by this time, and kept running ahead.  
“Liam come back! We’re going in this store!” She jerked her finger toward the Kash and Grab. She knew her brother had a history with this store that she definitely didn’t want to get into with the owner, but it was cheaper than the stores by the gym, which was a bit more upscale than her part of town.  
Liam skipped back obediently and headed toward the door. “Candy?” he asked hopefully.  
“Say it in a sentence Liam,” Debbie instructed, remembering his teachers concerns. She was afraid that she had been the only one to notice his report card that she had dutifully tacked up on the refrigerator, but his speech teacher still had her concerns.  
Liam was quiet for a minute, as if concentrating on what to say. “Can I have candy?” he managed to get out, and headed directly toward the front where the candy bars were placed to tantalize all children.  
“You can get only one!” Debbie knew that Liam being too full to eat whatever fancy, complicated meal Sheila was cooking would be too much for her to take. She headed to the school supplies. She settled on a bright orange binder and got some tabs. The student in her was taking over, she would label the binder into days of the week, and write down what workouts she did on certain days of the week. She would count the calories that the work outs burned as well as the calories that she took in every day and make sure she was burning off more than she ate.  
Linda, the store owner whose ex-husband had an affair with her brother, was chatting sweetly with Liam as she came to the front with her purchases. Her smile faded when she took in Debbie’s red hair and freckles, she looked way too much like Ian and it wasn’t like their family wasn’t well known in their neighborhood.  
“Gallagher,” Linda said it as if it were a curse word as she rang up their stuff. Debbie said a quick thank you and ushered Liam out before Linda could tell her what she really felt about her family, as the woman was not known for keeping her feelings to herself.  
She dropped Liam off quickly and made it to the gym before she was late. She went through her workouts and cleaning quickly and got home in record time. She wanted to organize her binder before tomorrow. Tomorrow was Wednesday which was the day that Derek coached the kids interested in wrestling. She was pretty sure that once she had a solid plan for dieting, that she would get enough confidence to start looking him in the eye.  
Wednesday turned out to be unusually warm for late September and the gym wasn’t air conditioned. Even with ceiling fans, Debbie was red and sweaty, with her hair plastered to her forehead by the time she had been paired with a few other teens to practice their moves on the mat. She felt it was ironic that for the last few weeks she had been praying for him to notice her and now she was praying that he would not.  
When Derek called showers she was relieved and planned on turning hers to cold water only. She was so overheated she thought that she wasn’t hearing right when Derek called her name. She slowed down, wondering if there were any other Debbie’s in their group.  
“Gallagher!” Derek was definitely talking to her. She turned around, trying not to imagine what she might look like.  
“I see you walking home every night. Do you want a ride?”  
Debbie felt a little frozen. She had been waiting for this moment for so long, but now she was imagining everything Derek might see at her house. Her brother fighting with his boyfriend over all the other guys he had blown, loud enough for the world to hear? Her dad Frank passed out next to the garbage cans? At least her brother Carl was in Juvie and not home to humiliate her as soon as they drove up.  
“Ok,” Debbie nodded, not sounding sure at all. “I’ll just be a minute.”  
“Take your time,” Derek smiled at her.  
Debbie turned back around, uncertain again. Why the hell would be notice her? And how did he manage to still look so good while she was red and sweaty?  
“You’re doing a great job” Derek smiled at her as they pulled out of the parking lot. “Lisa just loves you. She feels so lucky to have grabbed you before someone else did.”  
“Thanks,” Debbie flushed, not used to compliments. “It’s not hard, really.”  
“How do you get all of the work done and your schoolwork too?” Derek questioned. “I’d be failing everything if I worked as much as you do.”  
“School’s never been too hard for me,” Debbie said hesitantly, not wanting to get pegged as a smart girl. That was a huge turn off for guys as far as she could see.  
“I know,” Derek grinned again. I always wanted to get to know you better, but you’re always in those brainy classes.” He punched her shoulder affectionately. “I’ve never been in any honors classes so I’ve never been able to get to know you.”  
“You….you knew who I was before?” Debbie was sure that this was some kind of pick up line. There was just no way that someone like Derek had ever noticed her at all.  
“Everyone knows who the Gallagher family is,” Derek retorted and Debbie grimaced, unable to deny that this was unfortunately true. “But you seem so much more level headed than your brothers. I like that you’re smart and you always seem to know what you’re doing.”  
Debbie felt warm all over, even though she was pretty sure that this was just the biggest pick up line ever. “Wow…thanks. That may be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.”  
“Really? I would think that you would hear compliments like that a lot.” Derek shrugged. He pulled up in front of her house, and Debbie thanked her lucky stars for the lack of public drunkenness or police cars. There wasn’t even anyone on the porch. She wanted to wrap things up quickly though, before anyone got nosy and came out to see who was driving her home. She also knew that Derek’s car was a little too nice for the neighborhood and bound to gain her siblings attention.  
“Thank you for saying that Derek, and thanks for the ride” Debbie smiled shyly at him. “You made my night.”  
Derek caught her arm before he opened the door. “Do you want to go out on Friday after you get out of work? You can let me know later if you have to ask first….”  
Debbie laughed at that. “There’s no one to ask,” she answered bluntly. I’d love to go out. Debbie started to plan quickly in her head: she could bring some nice clothes to work with her and change into them after her shower.  
“Ok, I’ll pick you up at the gym by eight. You always seem to be done by then. Do you have to be home at a certain time?”  
“Nope.” Debbie shook her head firmly. Someone else could watch Liam on Friday night, no one could say she hadn’t done her share. “How about you?”  
“As long as I’m home before my Dad wakes up around six to go to work I’m good” Derek grinned. “I’ll see you Friday.”  
She ran up the steps and managed to bypass Fiona and their neighbor Veronica, who were blissfully getting drunk in front of the television. She made it to her room and locked the door behind her-she had finally managed to get some privacy after physically dragging Liam’s crib into the boys bedroom a few years before. Everyone had been too lazy to drag it back. She picked up the binder and stroked its cover. She was pretty sure that just getting the binder organized have given her enough confidence so she didn’t panic when Derek noticed her. She started to do some math calculations: how many calories burned verses the beef jerky and single serving of ramen noodles she had eaten that day. She was pretty sure she could lose a couple of pounds by Friday.


	3. Hungry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debbie goes on her first date

Eating At My Insides  
Chapter 3  
Hungry  
The two days between Derek asking her out on a date and actually going out on Friday were rough. Debbie was merciless with her workouts and very strict with her calorie intake. The Gallagher’s survived by eating cheap foods purchased in bulk. Debbie was dismayed to realize that a hot dog with ketchup was 315 calories. Forget about the white bread hot dog bun: that was an extra 120 calories. She learned how to eat hot dogs and hamburgers without a bun and how to drink coffee without sugar and milk-gross at first but she was determined. The hardest was when she was fixing Liam food that she no longer allowed herself such as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It was the hardest thing she had ever done to place the sandwich in front of the little boy instead of shoving it in her own mouth.  
By the time Friday finally rolled around, she was thrilled to be able to fit into a smaller sized teal skirt and black long sleeved t shirt that she borrowed from her friend Holly. It was a little tight, but Holly had lost her virginity long, long ago while Debbie had not even come close, so Debbie decided the girl knew the proper things to advise when it came to clothes. She packed the outfit in her gym bag so she could change into it after work.   
Debbie felt that she had been doing a great job keeping Fiona in the dark about her date and had almost made it home free, except that she finally caught on when Debbie asked to borrow her makeup and took too much time looking over the selections.  
“Who is he?” Fiona asked knowingly after Debbie made her lay out every shade of eye shadow that she owned for her to inspect.   
Debbie sighed. This was not attention that she wanted, but if she kept the conversation short, she was pretty sure that Fiona would lose interest and once again become focused on her own overly complicated love life: which included her husband that she had married on a whim without telling anyone and her boss that she now claimed to be in love with. “His name is Derek, he’s my age and very nice. He works at the gym too. Don’t forget to pick Liam up from Sheila’s on Friday!”  
“But Debs, if he picks you up from work I won’t be able to meet him…” Fiona looked honestly disappointed. But sure, Liam can go out with Sean and me on Friday. Are you sure you don’t want to have Derek pick you up here so I can…” as if from an act of God, Fiona’s phone chirped, announcing a text. She scattered to retrieve it and Debbie thanked her lucky stars, getting out of Fiona’s vison and she figured, therefore, her focus.  
Friday finally arrived and her cleaning and work out at the gym was slower (it seemed) than it had ever been before. Debbie was lightheaded from only eating half a hot dog, tic tacs and beef jerky. She pushed herself anyway though, so she would have a lot of time to shower and do her hair and face in the gym bathroom.   
When she finished she sighed, wanting to be pleased with herself but still unsatisfied. Yes, she was wearing a skirt she would not have dreamed of being able to fit into just a few short weeks ago, but she still had so many gorgeous athletic girls at the gym to compare herself to that she could not allow herself any satisfaction. She felt a little bit better when Derek gave her several compliments when picking her up, and made a big show of opening the passenger door for her.  
“Is Ant Man ok?” Derek asked her as they scanned the list of movies. Debbie was still trying to get over the fact that they were actually in line and going to pay for movie tickets. Gallagher’s snuck into movies, they didn’t pay. “But it’s not a date unless I pay,” Derek had grinned, when she had tried to explain to him how to use the back entrance-Gallaher style.   
“Its fine,” she answered quickly.   
Derek went through the concession line and piled up the candy and soda which Debbie was determined to ignore. Her will power didn’t get her very far though, since she had been starving herself for days. The smell of popcorn and chocolate was overwhelming and once they were seated she was dismayed to realize that she was eating as much of it as Derek was. She was dismayed, but she couldn’t stop.  
She was so focused on finally soothing her hunger pains that she did not notice at first when halfway through the movie Derek had slid his hand past her thigh high nylons and under her skirt. She felt frozen and unsure about what to do, but relaxed into Derek’s embrace as he leaned over to kiss her.   
She was breathless after the make out session and stared at the screen in confusion. “I don’t know what’s going on anymore,” she whispered.  
“I’ll take you again sometime” Derek poked her playfully.   
When they parked in front of her house they talked for over an hour before she went in. She felt comfortable telling Derek anything, even her about her mom leaving and her alcoholic father who was infamous all through Chicago. Derek told her about his (blessedly normal) family and his dream to be a famous wrestler.  
“I want to be with you, Derek whispered after their conversation ended with another long make out session. “I want to have sex with you.”  
Debbie breathed a sigh of relief as her heart raced with excitement. Being a virgin at her age in this neighborhood was pretty rare and she was tired of feeling different from everyone else.  
“That’s great,” she smiled at him. “Where?”  
“I don’t know but not at my house. My parents don’t let me have girls in my room.”  
“We can do it at my house,” she assured him. “Nobody really cares what I do…but I don’t want them bugging me about it either. I’ll start asking everyone about their plans next weekend and see when we can get a night alone.”  
Lip was at college, Fiona was juggling a few relationships, and Ian was living at his boyfriend Mickey’s house most of the time. She figured it wouldn’t be too hard to find a time when everyone’s plans got them out of the house, she just needed to convince one of them to take Liam with them.  
The following week Debbie had trouble trying to concentrate on work and school. She was worried that Derek would think she was a baby because she had never had sex before, and she was terrified of what he would think when he saw her with no clothes on. She was still not where she wanted to be with her body and she had not planned on having him see all of her quite so soon.  
Her worries made her unusually distracted when she was caring for Liam, and he almost ran in the street one day when she was trying to walk with him at the park. She darted out and grabbed the sleeve of his coat just in time.  
“Liam!” She scolded! “You didn’t look both ways and you didn’t…” she stopped mid-sentence as the sign for the Kash n Grab caught her eye. An idea was forming. “Let’s go to the store before we get to the park. You can pick out some candy,” she bribed before the little boy had time to protest.   
This time when she entered the Kash n Grab she ignored Linda’s glare entirely and went purposefully to the pharmacy section. She had her own money now and there had to be something she could buy that would help her diet along. Her eyes scanned a row of nutrition supplements and other items that she was not looking for until she finally came across boxes of laxatives.  
An idea was slowly forming. If laxatives made you go to the bathroom more, that would mean less food staying in her system which was what she wanted. She needed a way to get rid of calories when she gave into temptation like she did at the movie theatre and consumed fattening foods. She grabbed a box of laxatives and at the last minute also snatched up a box of diuretics-if pooping helped more would more peeing also benefit her? She marched up to the counter.   
She became so consumed with helping Liam make the agonizing decision of choosing which candy bar of the five he selected that he actually wanted most, that she didn’t notice Linda’s hard stare at her until she was ready to be rung up.  
“Be careful with those.”  
“Huh?” Debbie was taken off guard, giving Liam an opportunity to sneak a pack of gum into the purchases.  
“Too many of those aren’t good for you, be careful” Linda nodded toward the laxatives and diuretics.   
“I’m fine,” Debbie whispered, embarrassed. She was used to Linda glaring at her like she was the sister of Satan and not showing any kind of motherly concern.   
She guided Liam out of the store and rifled through the bag (how did grape bubble gum get in there?) and read the back of the package that contained the laxatives. The only warning she could see on the label was not use the drug more than a week without consulting a doctor and she wasn’t planning to…not really. Her date was in one week and she would just need it for that. After that, she assumed, she would finally be happy with the weight that she was at.


	4. Concerns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fiona suspects something is wrong

Chapter Four  
Concerns  
Fiona ran through the house haphazardly on a rare day off, making a list of all the bills that she needed to pay before shut off notices came, cleaning the (long overdue) bathrooms and gathering up laundry. Liam jumped around the couch watching Dinosaur Train, his own dinosaurs and trains prominently scattered throughout the living room in an attempt to play along with the show.  
“Fuck” Fiona attempted to dash up the stairs and stepped on a Stegosaurus with her bare feet. “Liam get the dinosaurs away from the steps!”  
Liam obeyed but then followed Fiona up the stairs, his television show abandoned. Fiona sighed. She could really use a kid free night. Ever since Debbie had started dating that Derick kid about two months ago (who she never managed to bring home, despite multiple requests), Debbie spent less of her spare time babysitting Liam. Fiona couldn’t complain too much because Debbie had added most of her money to the squirrel fund, which was growing at a productive rate, which would be a Godsend in the winter. Still, she missed having her around and she missed her help with Liam. She also suspected that Debbie was working too hard at the gym: she had grown quiet at home and had a pale, gaunt look about her.  
Fiona began entering the bedrooms to strip the sheets. Liam enjoyed climbing to the top bunk and dangling down while she was in the boy’s room and dutifully followed her into Debbie’s room. She began pulling her blankets off of her bed in order to get to the sheets.  
“Medicine. Debbie medicine.”  
Liam’s babbling had gone from chatting about dinosaurs to Debbie, but Fiona had not paid attention until she caught this odd phrase. Debbie didn’t take any medicine-though Fiona had been meaning to ask Debbie if she needed to go to Planned Parenthood to get on the pill. Debbie was an extremely well behaved kid, being a straight-A student and all-but she was still being raised on the Southside and Fiona wasn’t born yesterday.  
“What’s that buddy? Debbie doesn’t have medicine.”  
“Uh huh” Liam sounded quite confident about this fact. “Debbie LOTS of medicine”. Fiona was pleased that Liam was talking in sentences, even if they didn’t make a lot of sense. She wracked her brain, trying to recall if Debbie had been sick lately and needed medicine.  
Liam skipped over to the bed and grasped the edge of the mattress. He grunted, but his tiny frame was unable to lift the weight of the twin sized mattress. Fiona watched for a moment and then got an idea of what he was trying to do.  
“It’s under the mattress?” Fiona began to feel waves of panic. Of all the Gallagher’s, Fiona worried about Debbie the least. Had that been a mistake? Debbie hated their father’s drug abuse, she couldn’t imagine her stashing drugs under her mattress. She tried to calm her rising anxiety.  
“Here buddy, let me do it.” Fiona braced herself for the worst and lifted the mattress up.  
What she saw left her relieved and puzzled. These boxes were from the drug store and definitely were not oxy, cocaine, or ketamine. Fiona lifted the boxes out and read the backs of them. She took the pills out and saw that they were actually what was labeled on the boxes. Diuretics, she read were to help get rid of excess salt and water in the body through urination. Laxatives, she read, increased bowel movements. Why did Debbie need these? She saw that more than half of the pills were missing from each box.  
“More medicine” Liam had now disappeared under the bed, and Fiona could only see his stocking feet. He emerged with several empty boxes of laxatives and diuretics and placed them proudly on Fiona’s lap.  
“Holy shit”, she breathed, counting the boxes. Whatever this stuff was that Debbie was taking, it was way too much.  
Fiona tucked the half full and the empty boxes into a pillow case which she took from Debbie’s bed. She would take them all and show them to Lip, and hope he could help her figure out what the hell to do. None of this was making any sense to her.  
As Fiona took the pillow out of Debbie’s pillow case she drew out a notebook. She sat down to open it, hoping it would give her a clue to Debbie’s crazy new behavior. The notebook did nothing to make her feel better, as it gave a detailed daily account of every calorie that Debbie consumed on a daily basis, as well as a record of her workouts and how many calories each workout was thought to burn.  
“Jesus Christ,” Fiona shut the notebook firmly, overwhelmed by all the confusing information. She looked over at Liam, who was evidently smarter and more observant than his family (and teachers) gave him credit for.  
“Is that all Liam? Does Debbie have any more medicine?”  
“That’s all,” Liam lost interest in Fiona’s panic and thundered back down the stairs to his cartoons.  
Fiona finished shoving all the pill boxes as well as the notebook into the pillow case and took it to her room. She stashed it in her closet and hunted down her phone. She knew Lip was in class but she desperately wanted someone to share this scary new parenting challenge with her.  
She texted Lip "Can you please take the L home after your last class? I think Debbie’s in trouble."


	5. Interference

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fiona and Lip confront Debbie on her weight loss and laxative abuse

It was almost too cold to be at the park and recreation center, and soon Debbie would have to ask Derick to find an indoor place where they could be alone. Although parking beside a deserted trail at night and bringing out a sleeping bag didn't seem to bother Derick in the fall air, Debbie found that she got cold very easily after her twenty pound weight loss. It was well worth it though. It was a complete relief to be naked in front of Derick and not be ashamed. Derick was kind and gentle and always asked her what she needed. Still, with all of those beautiful girls at the club right under Dereck's nose every day, she knew that she could not afford to relax. She needed to keep up Her training, become  
more toned, and learn to consume less and less calories. She was on the pursuit for perfection and she knew she was far from perfect. 

Derick dropped her off at 3:30. They leaned against each other contentedly in the car for a while. Finally Derick got up to open the car door for her. "Got to get home before my dad gets ready for work, he whispered.  
Are you ok sneaking in?"

"No one has ever noticed yet" Debbie shrugged and headed for the back door. One nice thing about a family being consumed with drama is that as long as you kept quiet, you could go for very long periods of time being unnoticed. 

She didn't have any worries at all as she carefully let herself in the back and locked the door behind her. She jumped a little when she saw Fiona and Lip at the table.  
It wasn't unusual for them to be up late so she didn't think too much of it. They had their heads bent over something at the table. She assumed that they were going over bills, until she leaned in a little closer and realized that they were reading her binder.


	6. I've Been Invisible So Far

Debbie stared down at her siblings, not quite comprehending that they were actually invading her privacy this way. After being ignored for months, they had ramsacked her room, looked through her weight loss pills, and were now reading a notebook of her calorie counting, something more personal to her than any journal. Her face went red hot as she reached down and snatched the binder out of their hands.

"What are you doing? What makes you think you have the right to read that?" Her voice shook, which made her furious with herself. She wanted to be pissed off, not crying.

"Deb", Fiona started, "Liam found them, I didn't. Christ, your lucky he didn't take any of them."

"He's taken worse", she shot back and then instantly was sorry. Whenever she tried to hurt her sister, it never felt as good as she imagined that it would.

"Stop throwing that in her face," Lip snapped, "And sit down". He motioned at the chair across from him. 

Debbie sat, not because she wanted to obey him, but because she felt guilty about what she said to Fiona. Fiona played it tough, but had flinched visibly at her words.

"Debbie," Lip started again. "This book is fucking scary. You've lost way too much weight too fast. You're calculating everything, and fuck! You've even started measuring how much water you drink. He shook his head disbelivingly. What does all this mean?"

Debbie figured that it would only take a little deflection to make her siblings forget about her binder, and get wrapped into all the other drama that was their lives.

"It's not as bad as it looks. Most Americans are overweight. I just seem extreme to you because our culture is so unhealthy. How could I be making unhealthy decisions? I work at a gym!"

"Sure but..." Fiona faltered because she had never been as good at arguing. What about the pills? Everyone doesn't do that." Fiona held up a few boxes of diarretics. 

"Some women retain more water than others" Debbie attempted to reassure her. I don't like how the water retention looks on me, so I take these."

"It's too much," Lip broke in bluntly. Your getting rid off all these nutrients with these pills and your burning all these calories with your work outs, and your not taking enough calories in." 

Debbie glared at him, wishing he stuck to his physics major instead of suddenly deciding he was a dietician.

Lip made eye contact with Debbie. "I want you to ease up on this." 

Debbie opened her mouth to argue with him before remembering her original plan. If she ended this conversation, they would probably forget all about it by the morning.

"Fine if it's so important to you. I'll scale back on the diet."

"Great!" Lip looked relieved for a minute before frowning at her as she attempted to swoop up her remaining pills before heading to her room. 

"Hey", Debbie looked up in surprise as Lip blocked her hand. "You know, I think I'm going to hang on to those". 

"What?" Debbie shrieked before remembering that her plan was to calm her siblings into inaction. "I paid for those with my own money. They belong to me!"

"Debbie, its best if he gets them out of the house" Fiona attempted her reasoning tone.

"What the fuck for?" Debbie bellowed, all self control out the window. 

Lip glared at her while shoving pills into the inside pocket of his leather jacket. "Because I said." He had a set look in his eye that Debbie knew she didn't usually win against. 

Debbie wanted to start a knock down, Gallagher style fight, but she figured she would be the one calming Liam down if she woke him up. She contended herself with shoving past Lip forcefully as she ran up the stairs. "Asshole," she hissed under her breath. 

She took deep breaths while attempting to calm herself. It didn't matter, she reasoned. She could buy more of whatever she needed. She had her own pay check now.


End file.
